I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
