Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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