Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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