He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
