i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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