Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's like iHOP with fire
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
