Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
