well I can't set my house on fire every night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
