my mouth tastes like poor choices
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
