Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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