Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
