that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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