Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
