She's JV to your varsity
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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