dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
