well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
