Ambien. No doubt about it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
