I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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