No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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