I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
