I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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