The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
