The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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