just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
