oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
