Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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