how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
