New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
