I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
