Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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