I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
