in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Everything about him screamed your future.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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