tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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