so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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