Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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