I met the friendliest cop last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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