Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
