five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
