I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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