The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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