My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
