Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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