need another drink. this is the easiest way
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
