she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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