he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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