A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
