sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
its liver damage thursday
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
