at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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