Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
