Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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